Cancer (JustJoJan)

Inspired by and written for JustJoJan – thank you, Lauren

Form: Free write

Thanks to a bout of lurgy over New Year I am playing catch-up with these prompts. I knew this one was coming and have been dreading it. The C word doesn’t deserve a poem out of me so I am not going to write one. How can I write poetry for that thing that made me stare death in the face alone? How can I write poetry for that thing that stole my beautiful wife from me? Simple fact – I can’t.

I look up at my mantlepiece at a photo from when times were so different. A smiling couple with the world at their feet and a future in front of them. We were going to do so many things, but we didn’t know how little time we had to do them. And I think how many joys and sorrows of life we didn’t get to share. The silly things and the big life matters things – Gabbie didn’t get to see them. She didn’t see the boys grow into fine young men.

I now do the things we wanted to do on my own, but I take Gabbie with me in spirit because that is all I can do. Gigs, shows, art galleries, walks in the countryside, all those things we were going to do together and I feel the joy of them but it is tinged with a wee bit of sorrow that she is not there with me.

That C word destroys lives. For those left behind life doesn’t get better, it doesn’t get easier and the pain of grief never goes away. Sure, one learns to live with it and make an existence, but it doesn’t go away.

I will do the Walk of Light again this year for Blood Cancer UK as always in Gabbie’s memory and in the hope, it will be eradicated. That thing makes people suffer so much pain both those suffering it and their families