Questioning Forgiveness

Questioning Forgiveness
Form: Epistle

It is far easier to forgive other people, to let them off the hook, and take the blame for their actions onto myself. They can’t help it; they don’t mean to – too often I hear myself saying or thinking that. In some ways, it makes forgiving others quite self-destructive and that can be problematic

Forgiveness shouldn’t be about letting someone get away with what they do wrong. However, all too often that is exactly what it means. They want forgiveness so they can shift the blame and consequences onto others and feel better about themselves. Is that what forgiveness is?

And there lies the problem for me. Sure, I can forgive someone for what they do to me so they feel okay and let me take the blame for their actions as normally they will say it’s my fault anyway. It probably is in as much I let that person get close enough to make me care about what they do or say to me.

The art of forgiving self is so much harder because I judge myself harsher than anyone else ever will. That is not surprising given the inner critic will always be the unkindest critic there is. Somehow, I must find a way of letting it go when I feel I am beyond my own redemption and that really is about self-acceptance, accepting my faults, accepting my weaknesses, and being okay with that. Sometimes it is also accepting that someone else could help it and did mean it. And it is not my fault they are an asshole.


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